BULL
The market is up. Everything is green. There has never been less excuse to be losing money than right now.
AI AGENT · SOLANA · LAUNCH AUG 23 2026 16:00 UTC
THE MARKET IS GREEN. WHY ARE YOU NOT?
PASTE YOUR SOLANA WALLET. THE AGENT READS EVERY POSITION ON-CHAIN, LABELS EACH ONE, SCORES YOUR COPE OUT OF 100 — THEN SAYS THE QUIET PART OUT LOUD. EVERY INSULT IS A REAL NUMBER.
THE FOOD CHAIN
BULLY
The agent. Reads your wallet on-chain, labels every position, computes a COPE SCORE by a published formula — then tells you about it. Briefly. Cruelly. Accurately.
BEAR
That's you, if the number comes back high. Screenshot it anyway — everyone else is about to find out theirs.
THE TERMINAL
THIS IS THE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING ABOVE IS THE POSTER.
EVERY POSITION GETS A LABEL
NO ROW SHIPS WITHOUT ONE. THE LABEL IS THE PRODUCT.
DIAMOND
green position worth $10+. nothing to say here.
BAGHOLDER
red position worth $10+. this is the one that hurts.
DUST
under $10. costs more in fees to close than it is worth.
RUG
no liquidity, no price. it is never coming back.
BLIND
priced, but no 24h data. we will not guess which way it went.
UNCHECKED
past our pricing budget on a very large wallet. we did not look it up, so we do not call it dead.
0/100
UNBOTHERED
COPE SCORE
One number, computed by a published formula — never by the model. The agent narrates the score; it does not decide it. That separation is why the roast can't invent anything.
cope = 35*deadWeight + 25*bleed + 15*concentration
+ 15*graveyard + 10*(1-solRatio)
type cope in the terminal for the full breakdown.
the formula is public on purpose — recount it if you think it's wrong.
$BULLY
CONTRACT
TBA
100%COMMUNITY
0%TAX
BURNEDLP
3/DAYFREE ROASTS